51, Muslim, and Tired of Explaining
I've answered 'do you have to pray five times?' approximately four hundred times. Here's my actual answer.
I'm 51. I was born in Seoul to Iraqi parents. I have a South Korea accent, an Arabic name, and a permanent cloud of questions following me.
do you have to pray five times?? I'm not — it's quite breathable actually. Why do I fast? Because Ramadan is genuinely my favourite month. Why do I pray so much? Because it's my choice.
The questions are exhausting. Not because they're offensive — most are genuinely curious. But because I'm a teenager who wants to worry about student loans, not conduct interfaith dialogue at every work drinks.
Social media makes it worse and better. Worse because every time a political controversy involving Muslims erupts happens, my DMs fill with people asking me to condemn it — as if I personally orchestrated international events between maths homework. Better because I've found Muslim creatives online who get it.
My father says I should be patient. My imam says I should be a good ambassador. But I'm 51. I shouldn't have to be an ambassador. I should get to be a kid.
I'm not a representative of 2 billion people. I'm just a man from Seoul trying to get into university. Is that so complicated?
Apparently, yes. But I'm learning not to care. My faith is mine. My identity is mine. And both are non-negotiable.