51, Muslim, and Tired of Explaining
I've answered 'why can't you eat pork?' approximately four hundred times. Here's my actual answer.
I'm 51. I was born in Nairobi to Egyptian parents. I have a Kenya accent, an Arabic name, and a permanent cloud of questions following me.
why can't you eat pork?? I don't drink because I don't want to. Why do I fast? Because Ramadan is genuinely my favourite month. Why don't I date? Because it's my choice.
The questions are exhausting. Not because they're offensive — most are genuinely curious. But because I'm a teenager who wants to worry about student loans, not conduct interfaith dialogue at every house party.
Social media makes it worse and better. Worse because every time a someone on TV says something ignorant about Islam happens, my DMs fill with people asking me to condemn it — as if I personally orchestrated international events between maths homework. Better because I've found brothers and sisters online who get it.
My father says I should be patient. My imam says I should be a good ambassador. But I'm 51. I shouldn't have to be an ambassador. I should get to be a kid.
I'm not a representative of 2 billion people. I'm just a woman from Nairobi trying to get into university. Is that so complicated?
Apparently, yes. But I'm learning not to care. My faith is mine. My identity is mine. And both are non-negotiable.